My posts

Where are we

Not where we expected.
Wasn’t life supposed to make sense? You know how you make a plan to do something or be something and know matter what you do, if you finaly arrive it’s still not like you thought. In fact you aren’t the way you were before you started the journey either. There’s nothing worse in my way of thinking than striving to get to a destination or gain something, only to discover that during the struggle to get there some shift in your personal makeup or value system changed and now you realise it’s not what or where you expected to be. Or sometimes the thing you strive for always remains elusive and just out of reach like a dangling carrot you can never catch. Then comes the digging in and stoicism, that grim determination that you are sure you get the pay off one day. But it’s sheer bloody mindedness and stubbornness and you know it and you either keep going because you don’t like to loose or you can’t think of an alternative. I feel like that today. A mix of things that don’t seem to add up. I thought I had this year planned so well out. We would have sold our house and bought something somewhere and be doing that elusive thing we were dreaming of. But no. Here we are again doing the things we didn’t expect to be doing and making do with what we get each day, forever trying to not be anxious about loosing the path or the prize falling completely out of reach.

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